In which Tony explains the tenuous thread that links him to The King and The Colonel.

My previous post, George Lyttleton Band Manager: The Early Years, elicited some of the most imaginative comments I have ever read.

“I’m not sure where you get your information, but great post!”

“Very Informative. I’m wondering why the other experts in this sector do not understand this.”

“You say so, but then Erasmus spoke from both sides of his mouth. Thanks for posting!”

Despite being Dali-esque in their freeform association of gibberish, I was delighted that I had given joy to so many with what was, after all, a very simple tale about having grown a band manager from seed.

Even though I wondered how the subject of band managers and rusks could be considered ‘informative,’ and just what sector we were dealing with, I decided that a compliment was a compliment, no matter how deranged. I wasn’t even put off when The Admiral suggested somewhat unkindly that the messengers hadn’t read the piece, and were instead trying to solicit links to an Asiatic cartel. Rather, I believed I had been an inspiration to Dadaists across the globe, and avowed to continue writing my journal if only to encourage the spread of Merz.

However, I was awestruck when I read the following response:

“Was Parker a great manager? I don’t know. Some people said he did a lot of great things for Elvis, got him into Vegas and Hollywood. But the Colonel lost $1m in one night in Vegas, and Elvis hated those stupid films. Then Parker robbed the world of an Elvis tour because he didn’t have a US Passport and wouldn’t be allowed back in. No, I believe Parker took advantage of Elvis and robbed the world of seeing the greatest entertainer/singer/performer in history.”

This judge and jury of all things Parker had chosen my journal to deliver this impassioned critique. No matter that I hadn’t mentioned Colonel Tom or Elvis – everyone writes a non sequitur of colossal proportions from time to time – it was a glorious rant. He was clearly a waffler of some standing and his reasoned but unrequested argument was taking Merz to a new level.

I considered asking for more of the messenger’s opinions on the Colonel and Elvis, and even inviting him to write this journal, but only in the three seconds it took me to find the delete key.