February 27, 2023
Amidst a shortage of tomatoes, Environment secretary Therese Coffey suggested that eating turnips could help bridge the gap. Meanwhile Liz Truss, who had once said a no-deal Brexit would only affect a few farmers with turnips, warned that authoritarian regimes were trying to create a new world order. And Deputy Prime Minister Dominic Raab had previously been accused of hurling tomatoes in a fit of rage. The title is a quote from the Spitting Image sketch with Margaret Thatcher.
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February 20, 2023
In her resignation speech, outgoing First Minister Nicola Sturgeon called for less irrationality and hysteria in politics. The media responded accordingly and this is a fair summary of what was printed and said, including a particularly grotesque cartoon and calling her 'Nicole'. Some are actual quotes.
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February 13, 2023
48 hours after promoting Lee Anderson to Conservative party vice-chair, Rishi Sunak had to rebuke him for supporting the death penalty. The Nottinghamshire MP also expressed delight at being voted “the worst man in Britain”. Meanwhile Sunak's cabinet reshuffle seemed designed to welcome only thoroughly odious individuals.
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February 6, 2023
Diminutive UK prime minister Rishi Sunak was interviewed by Piers Morgan (6' 1") and in photographs of the studio he appeared dwarfed, like a small child. That's all, really.
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January 30, 2023
Anas Sarwar whipped his MSPs to support the gender recognition bill. It passed but was then blocked by Alister Jack's section 35 on behalf of the Westminster government. Ian Murray said something about if only the two parliaments could get on, which prompted scorn from Monica Lennon. Keir Starmer stepped in and said he was overruling his Scottish branch and dictating the party's policy on gender reform, which consisted of not challenging the UK block. At that point, Anas Sarwar said this was the right decision and called for a “grown-up approach”.
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January 23, 2023
The UK Government issued a Section 35 order to block the Holyrood's Gender Recognition Reform bill. Scottish Secretary Alister Jack turned down an invitation to provide evidence at a Holyrood committee on the decision, saying that his job was "constitutional".
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January 16, 2023
In the week that Rishi Sunak paid a flying visit to Scotland, Boris Johnson unveiled a portrait of himself at the Carlton Club, the original home of the Conservative Party.
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January 9, 2023
Douglas Ross tried to deflect any blame for the year of chaos caused by his party at Westminster, saying his Scottish branch had been caught “on the backfoot because of events we were not involved with”.
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January 2, 2023
In a New Year's message to the public, prime minister Rishi Sunak warned that 2023 was going to be a tough year but promised that the “very best of Britain” would be on display in the coming months. He predicted that the coronation of King Charles would bring the country together. The day before, he had helped out at a homeless shelter and asked a homeless man if he worked in business. Prior to that, he suggested that the word ‘British’ can be used as shorthand for ‘English’.
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December 26, 2022
It was reported that former something-or-other Douglas Alexander was planning a comeback and seeking a seat in East Lothian. There was also speculation that other well-known figures such as David Miliband and Ed Balls may return to Westminster. So there.
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