Even though the Admiral was using a mobile phone rather than a keyboard, I still felt that he was essentially typing. But he took issue with this, insisting he was neither typing nor texting, but in fact 'twittering.'

"Twittering?" I queried. "Not typing?"

"Hmm."

"Not texting?"

"That's right. It's when you describe in 140 characters or less what you are doing. Let me give you an example." He began poking at the device. "Going to meet my colleague, the eminent psychologist Lydia Pine-Coffin." He looked pleased with this.

"But you're not. You're typing."

"Well yes, but you misunderstand. It's about social networking, it's about micro blogging."

"It's about typing." I took the device and punched in the following letters: 'hav just stuffd my armdillo and now thinkng tacos for brekfst.' I showed him this marvellous piece of prose. "Typing."

"You're being childish now," he scolded. "Deliberately obtuse."

"Bum bum bum," I retaliated, deciding to stick with childish rather than have to look up obtuse. "You don't need 140 characters to describe what you're doing. Just write 'typing.'"

But it seemed the Admiral was far from alone. Most people's list of hobbies would be headed with 'typing' if they ever dared admit it. Maybe it was like going to the bathroom - I enjoy my rest breaks but I wouldn't necessarily class them as a hobby.