Interviewing Texas billionaire Allen Stanford for a position in Fred Goodwin's new underground bank was one of the more unusual tasks I've been assigned as a graphic designer. But it was Goodwin's request and the grinning buffoon had already shown up so I decided to make the best of it.

I began by asking for his CV and he duly obliged, with a wide-eyed enthusiasm rarely seen in adults. As it turned out, the semi-literate hand-written note he thrust before me was also remarkably child-like. I decided to quiz him directly rather than attempt a deciphering.

"What experience do you think you could bring to this role, Allen?" It was the first and undoubtedly last time I'd ever utter these words.

"Gee, well I guess I built my own bank in Antigua!"

"Hmm."

"It went from strength to strength and became a rock for the island state!"

"That's not particularly deviant or wicked though, is it?" I asked. "You are aware this is an underground organisation?"

"Then I got loaded and blew all the money in Vegas!"

"Aha!" This was more like what Sir Fred was looking for in his staff. In fact, Stanford was the perfect candidate. Not only was he childish, greedy and remorseless, he was also a hopeless gambler.

"You're just the man we're looking for," I said. "You're hired!"