I went to visit the Admiral hoping he might be able to explain the Da Vinci Code to me in semaphore or some other language I might understand. I felt the story may help me solve the mystery behind the worst logo in the world, but I wasn't so committed to the idea that I would read all 600 pages myself.

I found the Admiral in typical pose, hunched over some miniscule technical device, poking and prodding, his milk-bottle glasses growing thicker by the hour.

But it turned out this wasn't another piece of his electronic fiddling. He was texting, and the miniscule device was in fact a phone.

It was difficult to see how this gadget could be dialled by anyone outside Lilliput, and this gave rise to my theory that either phones were shrinking or my hands were expanding at an alarming rate.

And just when I was getting to my next question - how could a form of typing ever become so popular? - the Admiral dropped a bombshell. He wasn't typing. He was 'twittering.'