March 15, 2020
A UK government source described the First Minister as a “total disgrace” for holding a press conference an hour before Boris Johnson to brief the public and the press about the coronavirus crisis. Piers Morgan was one of the first to get upset, tweeting "Why am I watching Nicola Sturgeon reveal COBRA decisions before the British Prime Minister? What the hell is going on????"
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March 8, 2020
Scottish Secretary Alister Jack claimed the "Boris Bridge" between Scotland and Northern Ireland was a "euphemism" for a tunnel, suggesting he doesn't really understand the word. He also claimed "it would be less expensive to tunnel it".
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March 3, 2020
It was rumoured that the Prime Minister had squirrelled himself away in order to honour a deal with his publishers for a book about Shakespeare. In the circumstances, you'd expect the opposition parties to capitalise, but they too appear to have gone awol. Meanwhile in Scotland it was revealed that Ruth Davidson was paid an unprecedented £7500 for one night's election punditry.
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February 23, 2020
Marvel Comics released a new set of British superheroes in a publication called The Union. It featured characters called Union Jack, Britannia, Snakes, Kelpie and The Choir. Independence supporters were scathing. Meanwhile, former PM Gordon Brown escaped from his enclosure and made yet another keynote speech.
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February 15, 2020
Dominic Cummings was still Prime Minister. It was Cummings who insisted chancellor Sajid Javid could only remain in the post if he sacked all his advisers. Meanwhile in Scotland, Tory branch manager Jackson Carlaw called the SNP an 'evangelical faith-based cult' and said he would be the next First Minister, to much chuckling everywhere.
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February 9, 2020
PM Boris Johnson nominated former branch manager Ruth Davidson for a peerage, and interim caretaker Jackson Carlaw was awarded a CBE. The system works.
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February 2, 2020
Three and a half years and what does the UK have to show for its Brexit folly? A tea towel.
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January 26, 2020
Boris Johnson's Brexit deal finally cleared its last parliamentary hurdle, though it happened without the consent of the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish governments. The UK is now set to leave the EU on January 31st and the Gammons (rightwing, middle-age or older, stupid white men) are delighted.
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January 19, 2020
Labour leadership hopefuls Jess Phillips and Lisa Nandy made some ill-advised comments regarding Scottish independence. Nandy said we could take a lesson from Catalonia on how to deal with nationalists; Phillips described the SNP as a threat to opportunity and equality for working people - both clearly big vote-winners in Scotland. Even their sole remaining MP Ian Murray used his deputy leadership bid to say "Please don't come up to Scotland and talk about things that you're not quite sure what you're talking about."
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January 12, 2020
The royal declaration of independence from Harry and Meghan caused quite a fuss in the right wing media. Here we muse on the effect this could have on the firecely dependent Scottish Conservatives.
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